Monday, November 21, 2016

The Spirits of Thanksgiving

The Vincennes Commercial, November 29, 1929
Knew Nothing for Which He Should Be Thankful
   
Lawrenceville, Ill.  Nov 29—Today was Thanksgiving, but “Jaybird” Sisson, recently returned from Kansas, could not think of a single thing for which to be thankful.
   He started the day off in a “thankful” mood and spirits stimulated with a mixture of liquid spirits.  An automobile, a faithful flivver which had served him well in the past, was contributing to his celebration of Thanksgiving.
   But an ice and snow covered pavement was the first obstacle in the way to bring the first degree of depression from the high state of thankfulness.
   Coming up the hill on Walnut street near Eleventh his car skidded over against the curbing, and off went a wheel.  The axle of the car rested on the curbing 
   Sisson’s conception of a Ford was that the critter should run as long as there was juice and gasoline, and he knew his car had a sufficient amount of each.
   He backed down the hill a few feet and started forward, but could not make it go.  Several equally unsuccessful attempts were made, and Sisson was becoming vexed with the unruly flivver when Chief of Police William Stivers appeared on the scene.
   “What’s the trouble?” asked Bill.
   “Nothing but a broken wheel,” Sisson replied.
   “You can’t run an automobile on one wheel; better send for a wrecker,” the officer offered as advice.
   “But it should run,” Sisson argued.
   “It won’t though,” the chief declared.  “Come with me and we will send a wrecker out from a garage to bring in the wrecked car.”
   Sisson accompanied the officer to the city hall.
   “What’s your name,” he was asked.
   “’Jaybird’,” he replied.
   “’Jaybird’ what?”
   “Sisson,” he answered.
   Sisson informed the officer that he returned recently from Kansas where he had been for several years.  Came back to visit his mother near Birds, he volunteered.  He had a Kansas license plate on his car.
   Sisson was lodged in county jail, and a charge of driving an automobile while intoxicated was to be placed against him, according to Chief Stivers. 
   Sisson spent the remainder of Thanksgiving in the county jail, with spirits considerably lower than they were at the peak of his Thanksgiving celebration.